This article contains Amazon affiliate links to open-ended toys we used and loved. Other links are not affiliate links.
The Switch to Nature-Based Natural Toys
Our switch to heirloom quality wood toys, play silks, metal cars, stacking stones, homemade play dough and more natural play things began by everything going wrong. Very, very wrong.
When our only child was a toddler, he had a playroom full of brightly colored plastic toys that he would throw. He didn’t really play with them. He would dump them out, stare down at the heap and begin tossing items over his shoulder or throwing them at the wall.
Help! My Child Throws Toys & Does Not Play
My degree is in psychology so I knew to reach out for help when my child was throwing toys instead of playing with them. As I sat in the playroom with my 2.5 year old and two sweet women from Early Childhood Intervention, they informed me my son’s toy throwing and lack of pretend play was…unusual. Something was off.
That same child is now 17 years old. What I did not know then was that he is very mechanical minded; some may call it “engineer minded”. Already-put-together plastic toys that forced him to play in limited ways was repulsive to him. Hence the reason he was throwing the toys away from himself. I wish I would have known these details at the time but it does not matter. The next step I took when he was 2.5 was thankfully the right one.
Discovering What Sparked Real Play
My 2.5 year old had been kicked out of his mother’s day out class for (surprise) constantly throwing toys. Shortly after that I took him to the Houston Children’s Museum with my heart aching, sensing he needed loving attention from me and to enjoy some activities without being scolded. A few hours into the museum visit I realized he had not thrown any of the toys. He was playing! The thunderbolt of revelation hit me and I realized nearly everything he had sought to touch and interact with were thick, durable, heavy wooden playthings.
Before we left I stopped in the museum gift shop and used a 10% off coupon to purchase a wooden marble run track he seemed enthralled with. Once he was in bed that night I quietly removed 75% of the plastic toys from the play room. There were still some toys in the fabric bins on the cubby shelf but I wanted to try an experiment. We opened the wooden marble run set the next morning and again, he did not throw the wooden building toys! Yes, he gleefully knocked over the first marble block set-ups I built and yes, play with glass marbles had to be closely supervised. But the calm, intense interest that engrossed him as he watched marbles drop and clink through the block maze was obvious. These were the types of toys he had been craving.
Beginning the Switch
Beautiful, durable, heirloom quality toys are expensive. Our switch did not happen overnight. I thoughtfully added pieces and kept some things, like metal hot wheels, that he began showing interest in playing with instead of throwing. To this day, by far the best purchase was the Haba marble run set and the expensive add-on pieces. We still own the set and it is still in use!
Thick, chunky building blocks, the real wood train tracks, play silks, and handmade toys purchased from Etsy proved to be the best long-term buys. I even learned how to hand-sew felt play food. Real play began happening at our house.
A Surprise Bonus
The year I turned 40, my husband and I learned we were unexpectedly pregnant with a second miracle child. We were living in our Magnolia, Texas farmhouse with our oldest who was now turning 15. All the natural toys had been lovingly packed in bins to await grandchildren when they were suddenly called into use again!
The best part about raising a second child when the first is almost grown is that you have so much experience to draw upon. Each child is different but I knew wooden toys and nature play would be the foundation of what we offered our second.
Play is an Insight to the Soul
A young toddler playing cannot help but reveal their true personality traits. Are they gentle and passive or bold and courageous? Do they seem to like the tidy tasks of “washing” things or the excitement of car crashes and chaos? This insight is invaluable and when observed, helps you better parent that child. Their primary love language can also begin to show in how they constantly talk to the stuffed animals they are caring for (words of affirmation or quality time), smother them in hugs and kisses (physical touch), or present them with “wrapped” presents (gifts).
No Regrets After the Switch
I have long since forgotten about the plastic toys we got rid of. I do have fond memories of my oldest spending hours crafting intricate wooden train track & town layouts using Lincoln Logs and building blocks. When I added tree slice blocks for the youngest, my then-teenager surprised me by getting on the floor to engage with his baby brother and arranged the pieces effortlessly into a beautiful tree house. There were no instructions, he simply called upon his childhood experience and out came something enchanting.
In that moment, when life gives you a rare shred of proof that a choice made in the past was correct, I felt so much gratitude. I was grateful our family had embraced open-ended toys made of natural materials. I was appreciative that the evidence of it being a healthy choice with my first child came before my second child turned two.
How Did My First Natural Toy Child Turn Out?
He graduated high school a year early, of his own choice and driven by his own desire to complete his classes. He began college at age 17 with the intention of finishing his degree, gaining the hands-on experience he needed, and starting a business of his own. (He has known since age 12 that he wanted to work with large specialty engines and be an entrepreneur.) He is driven, observant, thoughtful, clean, and surprisingly tidy!
Playing with open-ended toys, many of which involved building (using blocks, marble run blocks, wood train tracks, tinker toys) seems to have given him the foundation to develop complex problem solving skills. He has above-average spatial intelligence, good three-dimensional awareness, and seems to have the ability to fix anything broken, especially engines. While peers succumbed to vape and drug addictions, his dreams and desires for himself kept him grounded and steady through teenage temptations. (And let me tell you now, anything you can do to prepare your child to successfully navigate the frightening wilds of adolescence is worth TWICE the time and expense required in this moment!)
What to Do with Plastic Toys?
There is no need to get rid of her favorite plastic playthings. But clearing out some of the clutter and providing more gentle, natural toys will improve the quality of play. You can keep everything and simply store it away in plastic totes to be rotated in. Children seem to thrive when they have less toy options. Somehow limiting the play pieces helps their imaginations expand! When totes of forgotten toys are rotated back in, it invites even more independent play. But be ruthless and ready to sell or give away any toy that is no longer providing delightful play and just contributes to clutter.
Do I Have to be Strict about Natural Playthings?
No! Our toys have always – and will always – include metal hotwheel cars and a Blu Track as well as a water play table. These and other plastic toys absolutely have a place in creative pretend play! You don’t have to offer only wood toys.
Time for Unstructured Play
The switch to natural, open-ended toys is lovely but if your child has no time, it won’t do much good. Children need hours of calm surroundings for unstructured free play. I have noticed the best quality independent play seemed to happen one to two hours before lunch and then in the early afternoon. Perhaps this is because I was busy in the kitchen making lunch and between the kitchen and laundry room doing my own afternoon tasks.
The Gentle Switch to Natural Toys
If you have been feeling the nudge to make this change, it is okay for it to be a slow process over time. You don’t need to clean out the toy bins today. Remove whatever is broken or no longer enjoyed. Add in thick, heavy, heirloom quality toys as you can afford to buy them. (Check Facebook Marketplace for nicely priced finds.) You won’t regret making this change, especially when your children grow up recounting fond memories of long childhood days with beautiful, unstructured, natural play.
You Might Also Enjoy Reading:
Soft Cloud Dough Recipe for Nature Play
Nature is a Classroom (benefits of outdoor play with simple rocks & sticks)
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