Are loved ones accusing you of romanticizing country life because you’re drawn to rural living? I’ll share the truth about my experiences as I moved from the suburbs to a farmhouse well outside the city and how it became the best decision of our lives. If you dream of fresh air, walks in the countryside, just-laid eggs and homegrown vegetables, read on about the good, the inconvenient and the charming.
Trust Your Heart
There wasn’t much in life that I was accused of romanticizing until I began desiring a home in the country. My dad grew up on a ranch, my in-laws lived on acreage but it was my suburban friends who scoffed at the things I was daydreaming about. “Roosters crow, chickens poop everywhere and there’s snakes and bugs,” my friends would object. When police began regularly showing up at the house next door, I decided I would rather brave the snakes.
As my husband and I drove the brush-lined, curving roads away from civilization to our first house showing, I did worry that I was romanticizing country life. It seemed so far from everything that I wondered where the locals bought groceries. We took the chance, bought the farmhouse and have never been happier! Let me share my experiences to help you determine if you are overly-romanticizing country life.
Let’s start with the information you really want to know first. What is the bad news? The sneaky, secret unpleasantries you didn’t think of when you were house hunting or making your farmhouse wish list. The unforeseen things that seem likely to bite you in the wallet, if not your entire backside. Here I’ll lay bare all the downsides to country life that I’ve experienced.
The Grocery Store Distance
I talk about this all the time because it is the number one thing my suburban friends want to know. Where on earth do I grocery shop out here? My suburban commute to the grocery store was a brisk six to nine minutes depending on stoplights. That became a twenty eight minute one-way drive after we bought our farmhouse. (Costco is even further.) The long drive necessitated that I make some changes that turned out to be positive in my life. I began to menu plan, keep a rotating pantry, and grocery shop for two weeks at a time to reduce the number of trips to save time, gas and money. This was hands-down the biggest inconvenience I encountered.
Using your phone to calculate driving distances from a home you’re considering buying to desired shopping centers can help set your expectations. My in-laws live 45 minutes from the store and they have not starved to death. It really is doable if you are willing to trade the congested convenience of a nearby store for wide open spaces and a tiny bit of planning.
Fast Food Distance
When we closed on our country house there was one Sonic twenty minutes away. Two years later a new Whataburger opened only seventeen minutes away. Ordering a pizza for delivery will always take a full hour, if not longer. While we lived in the suburbs we utilized fast food frequently, getting pizzas for lunch by the community pool or picking up dinner on busy days. Now the fastest food is what is in our freezer. I keep frozen french fries, hamburger patties and a sandwich bun recipe on-hand so we can make what we’re craving at home. Friday is often pizza night but it is homemade from scratch, not delivery. It gives me a sense of self-sufficient pride when the guys dig into cheesy slices hot off the pizza stone that I made from flour, sugar, real salt and just-picked garden bell peppers.
Expensive Trash Pick Up
If you want curbside trash pick up, you’re going to pay a pretty penny. There may be only one or two companies that service your street and $50 per month for once a week pick-up with no recycling is fairly standard for Texas. Other places are even higher. Plan to be shocked by the service fees. Also, most trash pick up contracts are paid quarterly so every three months you’ll need to make one large, lump sum payment for the next three months’ service.
Lawn Mowing, Tree Trimming & Property Maintenance Expenses
If your home comes with a sprawling, grassy yard you are going to need a riding lawn mower or to hire a service. Lawn services charge somewhere around $100 per acre for mowing each week. Larger trees on your property may mean you need to purchase a tree trimmer tool or hire a crew to trim your trees annually. More acreage often means more fences to maintain, more ant hills to treat, more fruit trees or gardens to water, a septic system to tend and longer driveways to upkeep.
In reality none of these are bank-breakers but are possible expenses to be aware of. The most important thing to remember is that if you have a large tree die anywhere near your house, you must spend the $1,000 to have it removed quickly. This expense is typically less than your insurance deductible should the tree fall during the next storm and damage your home. Dead trees away from structures are less risky to remove and usually less expensive.
Home Improvement Store Distance
Country homes come with more projects, which require fairly regular trips to Lowe’s and Home Depot. These stores are a twenty five minute drive for us and even longer for many rural residents. Being disciplined about stopping whatever you are doing to add a needed item to the list you keep on your phone is my number one piece of advice. This act of self-discipline will save you an enormous amount of frustration, time, gas and miles on your vehicle plus projects will be completed on time without unnecessary interruption.
Trip Fees
When things break and you need a repair service, you may find there is a small ($15) to large ($50) trip fee for someone to come out to your property. This covers the technician’s time and it is fair. You’ll discover some companies refuse to service your area because the drive is too far and the profit too low. Not every repair service will charge a trip fee but it is good to be aware that you could be asked to pay a little more simply because of where you live.
School Distances
If you have children, the schools they attend are going to be further away than they were in the suburbs. The elementary may be reasonably close, the middle school further and the high school perhaps the furthest of all. Your area will likely have a bus service of some kind but you may still have to drive back and forth to the bus stop. You’ll notice a few more home school families in the country because an 8 hour school day plus two hours round trip of parental driving takes more time than educating children at home.
The Extrovert Disadvantage
The further distance to everything and wide open spaces around you mean you won’t be bumping into people all the time. This can be difficult for extroverts. If you have an extrovert spouse or child, they will need a way to regularly socialize and it will likely require planning. This cannot be remedied by getting them a pet or buying livestock; they genuinely need people and will suffer without frequent social contact. Purchasing an outskirt home in a neighborhood with acreage home sites – and a few more families with children their age – might be the perfect balance.
Hobby or Boredom Shopping Is Greatly Reduced
The stores are generally far enough away that you must schedule errand days where you do much of your shopping at once. This greatly reduces the number of impulse buys you are subject to and in the long run you’ll find yourself saving money. (Not having fast food close by also helps the family’s bottom line, too!)
A day of shopping becomes a special outing but you’ll find yourself selecting items more thoughtfully. There is something about living closer to nature that teaches us what we really need and what we don’t. Of course I still pause to admire trendy décor at HomeGoods but my desire to make a purchase has noticeably diminished. I just don’t need an endless trickle of new things to feel happy in my country home. In all fairness, a small portion of what I used to spend at HomeGoods now seems to be spent at Tractor Supply on chicken feed, bird seed and deer corn because we enjoy keeping animals and seeing the wildlife!
Fast Food Is Far Away
This one makes both the inconvenient and good list! Any diet you want to do won’t be sabotaged by tempting nearby fast food options. You’ll be consuming less junk food and more home cooked food. The savings, health and even skin benefits transform the initial inconvenience into a hidden blessing. Two years after moving, I have forgotten the appeal of quick, close-by dinners and fast food has returned to being a special treat on the few occasions when we do indulge. I like the balance.
You Can Own Chickens!
You’ll notice many outskirt neighborhoods allow laying hens. Rural homes are likely to be unrestricted, meaning you can keep roosters and any domestic livestock animals you prefer.
Tip: Very carefully review any deed restrictions before making an offer on a home. Some neighborhoods have cleverly worded bylaws that allow chickens in one section or phase of the neighborhood where the largest homes are and forbid them in the rest of the subdivision. Other communities allow poultry only if you have a child enrolled in 4-H or FFA. Do not move into a neighborhood that will “soon vote” on allowing chickens; this is a common tactic used to sell homes in country neighborhoods whose deed restrictions are undesirable.
Children Thrive. Like truly, really Thrive
I’ve mentioned the transformation we saw in our son before but it never ceases to amaze me. He gets more outside time than children born in the 1980’s, let alone his own generation, and it is just so refreshingly healthy! Holiday wish lists often consist of fishing tackle, dip nets, BB targets and rope swings. Now as a teenager he’s allowed to build fires in the fire pit and invite the neighborhood kids to gather around. Sleepovers are actually spent in tents outside most months of the year. I have not found it possible to over emphasize – let alone romanticize – the beautiful childhood years he is enjoying.
The Introvert Advantage
While extroverts may struggle with country life, introverts often find it wonderfully and deliciously private. My door bell rings maybe twice a month and when it does ring, I’m always happy to see the sweet neighbor who dropped by. Parties with loud music after sunset are rare and windows that face nothing but trees and pasture for miles don’t need to be closed every night. No one will dare come by after dark so you can ditch the bra and curl up with a good book undisturbed as soon as the sun is down. Gentle, outdoorsy souls tend to find healing and joy in the country that they didn’t realize they were missing before.
The Delicious Home Grown Food
On my counter, every day, is a white bowl full of stunning blue and earthy brown eggs from my hens. To the right of these, in front of the glass canisters of flour and homemade brown sugar, are more bowls of whatever was harvested from the garden, which changes with each season. I have real flour sack towels in my cabinet to drape over rising bread dough and I really do gather eggs from straw lined nests which I carry inside in a basket.
I blend my own spice mixes, steep my own vanilla, make my own frosting and roll my own cinnamon rolls because I had an interest in learning these skills slowly over time. I’m growing increasingly more in touch with my food, frequenting more farmers markets and buying directly from local farms. It feels wholesomely good in a way that is hard to put into words but tastes delicious!
The You-Pick Farms are Now Close-by
Remember getting up early and driving over an hour to be at the U-pick farm before it got too hot? That far away farm is now just fifteen minutes up the road and close enough to regularly ‘shop’ for field-fresh produce. You’ll get to know the owners and be able to quickly snap up any end-of-season bargains on organic produce. Picking your own fruit from a farmer’s field is a delightful family-building activity that your children will remember fondly for the rest of their lives.
The Trees & Nature
The birds nests that appear in some of my images came from our property. They, along with pine cones and other natural items, dot the shelves in our front room. Storms that roll in set the large, majestic trees swaying in the breeze, knocking more pine cones to the lawn below. Fires we light in the winter burn with the sticks that fell from our oaks and elms.
Baby birds chirp above us in the spring and baby squirrels skitter along the branches near their leaf nests in summer. Watching the seasons progress and change as each day passes is a wonder that I did not witness as readily while living in the suburbs. The more heavily wooded south side of our property has a fire ring among the trees, which we light any evening when we desire the ambiance and family time in a camp-like setting. It is peaceful, grounding and relaxing to be in nature so often.
The Quietude
Once upon a time I dreamed of drifting off in clean, white sheets in a farmhouse somewhere under the stars while the relaxing darkness and gentle sounds of owls and crickets serenaded me to sleep. I now occasionally take for granted that this is my reality every night. Sometimes the great horned owl is hooting in a tree too close to the bedroom window or the crickets are chirping loudly but nevertheless, my daydream has become my reality. I awake every single morning to deer in my back yard. Yes, they have usually nibbled on the landscaping, but watching the wobbly, newborn fawns grow into svelte young does who soon have their own fawns tottering behind them is captivating. A couple have even become familiar faces, drawing near and watching me feed my chickens in the morning.
In closing I want to say that I have never been disappointed by realty after romanticizing country life and then moving out here to live it. We trim more trees, paint more structures and buy more wasp spray than we did in the suburbs but the minor inconveniences are nothing compared to the never-ending benefits we reap. Our child has grown thoughtful, courteous and confident playing with friends outside under the trees and sunshine. Our marriage enjoys loving and peaceful days together. The steady, rhythmic cycles of the seasons are both exciting and restorative, grounding us to reality. Keep on romanticizing as you prepare to make your move; glorious country days are ahead!
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